


I Can't Explain It

by AllMyBrokenStrings



Category: Red vs Blue, youtube - Fandom, youtuber
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Cutting, Delusions, Depression, Fanfiction, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Original Character(s), Reader-Insert, Realistic, Red vs Blue - Freeform, References to Depression, Schizophrenia, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, YouTube, Youtuber Jacksepticeye, Youtuber Markiplier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-01-25 17:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 15,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12537428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllMyBrokenStrings/pseuds/AllMyBrokenStrings
Summary: |gender neutral reader insert| I shouldn't feel guilty for feeling like this, I thought as I push a strand of (h/c) hair out of my vision, everyone goes through it. But why does it make me feel like I'm not ALLOWED to?





	1. IMPORTANT

** VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ **

Everything in this story is fictional, but anything in this story can help you as well.

The characters are fictional, the setting is fictional, and the story itself is fictional.

But the general situation is based off of real problems and situations, it's as real as anything else. The challenge you (as the reader) go through could be happening in real life. This book is to help you (or whoever reads it just for fun) with whatever relates to you. To help you know that we go through some of the same problems, and we can try to help others who are going through it. It's...therapeutic.

**Please don't take my word for it, I am _NOT_ a therapist, psychologist, etc.**

If you have been having depressing and/or suicidal thoughts, please contact these numbers below. I do NOT take these subjects lightly and advise you to get professional help.

**(1-800-273-8255) National Suicide Hot line**

Or, if you are too uncomfortable with that, you could always message me if you'd like. I'm no professional, but I could be there just to listen, to give advice, or if you just need a friend, I will welcome you with open arms. No one should have to go through this alone.

made up.

* * *

** Many Much Important **

**Keys to help throughout the story; please remember**

(F/n)= Full name

(Y/n)= Your (first) name  **or**  a shorter and/or other name you prefer to go by

(N/n)= Nickname

(L/n)= Last name

(H/l)= Hair length

(H/c)= Hair color

(S/c)= Skin color

(E/c)= Eye color

(Y/h)= Your height

(F/c)= Favorite color

(B/f)= Best friend (name)

The same rule for your keys apply to them as well

___________________________________________________

Please enjoy the story and...be safe about your actions.

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	2. The Start of It All

2nd p.o.v.

As you take down your Math notes for first period, you noticed that your best friend, (B/f), wasn't here today. Strange, it's not like her to miss a school day, especially since it's a testing day. Ms. Valarie hates it when her students aren't here for testing; she always complains about having to give up her free time just so you guys can take it. Now, you already addressed the issue, saying "we wouldn't have to take up your free time if you didn't give us weekly tests.". You can still remember her dull green eyes boring into your own (e/c) iris' to this day. You should've called the cops on her right then and there.

"(Y/n), what is the answer to number 3?" The teacher's voice spooked you out if your thoughts.

You look down to number 3 and realized the problem was **8+/-** **(2×4)**. Oh, that wasn't to hard. Quickly doing the math in your head, you answered as smoothly as possible.

"Well...you wanna know the answer, huh?" You asked, buying yourself time.

"I believe that's why I asked you," she smiled in amusement.

"Uh, the answer is 16 or 0," you sighed, closing your eyes as you scratch the side of your head.

"Why?" She asked.

"What the fuck..." you whispered to yourself then continued louder for her to hear, "I don't know! Because 2×4 is 8 then you add 8 and that's 16...then 2×4 is 8 and you subtract 8 and it's 0."

"Are you sure?" She teased.

As if the gods saved you from answering, (B/f) walked through the doors, imaginary doves coming in from behind her. She smiled and gave Ms. Valarie a bright red slip. She said hello to a few students as they walked to their desk in front of the class. She didn't greet you though, you sat in the back. You didn't mind as much though, she always walked you to your next class.

Ms. Valarie forgot about torturing you and pulled out another stick from the cup, "Leonard, what's number 4?"

You looked to your left where Leonard sat and saw him look at your paper and then answered. He was one of your good friends, but other than Honors Math and lunch, you guys didn't have any classes together. Not that you minded, he found time for you at the end of the day, but that's not always the case though. Recently, he hasn't been hanging out with you for a while, but you shrugged it off thinking he has things to do at home.

You look down at your (s/c) hands, clenching it, then unclenching them several times. You slowly traced the invisible scar on your left palm, remembering the ~~nightmare~~ dream you had last night.

\----

 _Running. What else could you do? It was behind you, you couldn't see it, but you_ knew _it was right on your trails. Someone told you to never look behind you, no matter how close it got, but you couldn't remember who. Quickly, you turned your head._

 _In result, your (h/l) (h/c) hair smacked against your face._  (if your hair is really short, than please ignore that part).  _You didn't see it anymore. You stop suddenly in your tracks, air quickly and painfully refilling your lungs. After a few moments, you look up to see it in front of you._

_You didn't know what it looked like, but at the same time, you knew it was you. Quickly, you turned around and sprinted away in the opposite direction. You only ran about 100 feet until you met a wall, the design resembling a tree. You turned and saw the figure creeping towards you. In a blind panic, you turned and started to pound on the wall._

_"Please! Please, let me out, let ME OUT!" You shouted._

_As you were going to pound again, something took a strong hold of your left hand, causing you to stop. You started trembling in fear, a few tears escaping your eyes. Its nails were digging into your palm, blood seeping out and running down your (s/c) arm. You fell to your knees, your left hand still in the clutches of the monster you recognized as yourself. You'll never escape..._

\----

You shook you head slightly as you rubbed your hands together to get rid of the tingly feeling in your palm.

"(Y/n), please tell us the answer to number 11," the teacher called you again.

Looking at your paper, you paled a bit. You didn't get to 11. The problem read **Reduce: 6×a×a×b/a×b.** _Okay, you thought, not too hard at all._

"It's 6a," you stated confidently.

Ms. Valarie raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Your smile drooped down a bit at that, "It is 6a...isn't it?"

Ms. Valarie did the work and explained it to the other students. The answer _was_ 6a. You sigh, lowering your head so your forehead touched the edge of the desk. _She's the reason I always second guess myself..._

"Hey, Church," You nudged your partner's arm.

He turned to you and hummed, indicating for you to continue.

"What time is it?" You asked.

If you're lucky, it's close to 10:00A.M.

He chuckles as he checks his phone, "9:13A.M."

You slammed your head on the table, gaining attention from students near by.

"God Damn-it," you mumbled.

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	3. Chapter 3

2nd p.o.v.

The bell rang to signalize to switch classes. You had Art for your second period, you chose Drafting and Designing but that class was too full to take anymore kids. You probably would've gotten into that class if you didn't wait 2 weeks before applying for your freshman year. It's not that you wanted to wait that long to apply, its just that during the last week of summer, you found out you had early stage of appendicitis and needed surgery before it exploded. Ah, summer break was truly amazing.

You get up from your seat and swung your dark red backpack onto your back. (B/f) stood next to you as you did so, smiling.

You turn to her with a small smile, "You ready, Freddy?"

She roll her eyes but kept her smile, "Yeah, come on, let's go."

You both wait until the classroom is empty before leaving. If you tried leaving with the crowd, you would've been stepped all over. As you two were walking, (B/f) was talking about her girlfriend. You only smiled as she talked. You weren't on good terms with said girlfriend per say, but were still friends.

(B/f) stopped talking when she noticed you haven't spoken.

"Hey, are you okay? You're not usually this quiet," she asked softly.

 _Of course I'm not going to say "no, I'm not okay"_ , you thought, _but I hate lying to (B/f) when she ask me..._

You let out a bright smile, "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I'm just really tired. I stayed up watching _Who Killed Markiplier_. You know how it is."

(B/f) only chuckled, " My God, (Y/n), I think Mark can wait for one day."

You gasp dramatically and placed a hand over your chest, "*Loud gasp* How could you say that?!?!"

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I'm horrible, I know. But seriously, start getting your sleep, dude."

At that moment, the warning bell went off.

"I'll see you later, bye!" She shouts while running to her class.

As soon as (B/f) turned her back, (y/n)'s smile immediately fell from their face as they walked into their next class. Art wasn't too bad, the only problem was that you sat next to this really annoying kid names James (if your name is James, then please change it), he sat on your left. You sat down and silently praised the Gods when you noticed he wasn't here today. On your right, was a good friend of yours, his name was Sean, people including you called him jack. You have first and second period together, but that was about it, though he was a good friend; you could talk to Jack about anything...well, almost everything.

After announcements, the Art teacher, Mrs. Dallie, explained the assignment for the day; today, they had to draw still life. After the explanation, everyone started to work. You were feeling a bit more down than yesterday, so you decided to takes things a bit more slow. But at the same time, you had to make it seem like nothing was wrong, that was going to be the real challenge. It wasn't a problem during math, since no one spoke to you in that class.

Art class was _that_ class where you were able to be alone with your thoughts since the only one who spoke to you-Jack-was occupied playing Duck Life on his school laptop. You let loose. You were never safe with your thoughts, you would start to think badly of yourself, making you insecure. Your friends tend to get upset with you when you spoke if your insecurities, they thought that you were an amazing person. But no matter how hard they tried to convince you of that, you just couldn't believe them, you thought they were lying to make you feel better.

You don't know why they would lie to you though. Did they think you were too sensitive to handle the truth? Did they think you didn't _deserve_ the truth? You had to control yourself, you were still in Art class after all. There were people around you, you had to pretend  everything was alright. They'll think your weird if you break down right now.

It seems like you weren't doing a good job at pretending, after 10 minutes, Jack called you out on your bullshit.

"Hey," he tapped your soft, (s/c), arm until you looked at him, "You wanna talk about it?"

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe you can be fixed?" you asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	4. Chapter 4

2nd p.o.v.

You tensed up a bit when he asked you. _What do I say? Do...do I lie to him_? You thought nervously.

You offer a bright smile, "Jack, dude, I'm fine. Really."

He furrowed his eyebrows together, his Irish accent filling your ears, "I know when you're lying, (Y/n). We'vs been friends since 5th grade."

That may be true, but that doesn't mean anything. Not unless he's been watching you closely...

You raised a (h/c) eyebrow at the brunette, "Have you been watching me?"

He leans in with a 'seductive' smirk, "Oh, yeah~."

(Y/n) pushes his face away and started to laugh, Jack chuckled as he ran his pale hand through his dyed green hair.

"(Y/n), please. You can tell me anything," his ocean blue eyes stare into your own (e/c) orbs with concern, "I don't want you to feel like you don't have anyone to talk to."

You let out a sigh, "I just....it's really stupid, Sean," You look down at your left palm, "I had a dream last night...and it's just been on my mind, that's all. Nothing bad."

Jack crossed his arms and leaned them an the table, resting his head on them, "Wanna tell me what it was about?"

You ran your hand through your soft, (h/c) hair before you closed your eyes, "I was running away from a monster. But I couldn't see what it looked like, but somehow, I knew it was me...I was chasing myself," you let out a chuckle.

(Y/n) put their elbows on the table, hiding their eyes in their hands, "But there was a dead end. I begged to be let out, but nobody came. The monster got to me and started peircing it's claws into my left hand. When I woke up, my left hand was hurting like hell."

Jack was quiet, not knowing what to say. (Y/n) felt a bit relived, glad to get it off their chest. But the silence Jack was giving (Y/n) made them a bit nervous.

"Maybe it's a new phenomenon," he sighed.

(Y/n) rolled their eyes, "Geez, thanks for the great help. I'll recommend you to a friend."

"Sorry," he apologized, sitting up, "Maybe you're just scared of yourself...?"

You turned your head in his direction, removing your hands from your eyes and placing them on your lap, "You think so?"

Jack shrugged, reaching for his laptop, "I dunno. I'm not a dream expert. BUT!" He quickly continued when he saw you open your mouth to speak, "I am your friend. So if that makes the most sense to you, than we'll stick with that."

You looked down at your hand again, thinking that you saw blood on your (s/c) hand.

"And besides, it's okay if you are. I'll make sure to remind you that you're not a monster," he smiles as pink dusted his pale cheeks.

You smile back at him. He catches up to what he just said and stammered a bit.

"I-I-I mean, that's what friends are for, right?" He chuckled nervously.

You roll your eyes for the 2nd time today. Though you smiled at Jack. He seemed to be the only one that could tolerate you in your most melodramatic times. Focusing on the task at hand, you took out your H2 pencil and started sketching on the paper your teacher had handed out.

\----

At 11:30A.M., the bell rang for 3rd period and first lunch. You and Jack used to have the same schedule, same classes except for the last period. But after the first 5 weeks, they changed the schedule for most of the kids, you included. You left the class after saying your goodbye to brunette-with his hair dyed green on top-child named Jack-or Sean. Whelp, time for C.C.P. class.

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	5. Chapter 5

2nd p.o.v.

Your 3rd class was upstairs, which was a pain in the ass 'cause after C.C.P. (College and Career Preparation) you had Lunch, after lunch your last class was upstairs once more for English Honors. You quickly got up the first flight of stairs but went slower for the second flight. As you just got on the second floor, someone bumped into _you_.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" you started to apologize.

"Watch where the fuck you're going!" The person snapped before quickly leaving for their next class.

You frown as you ran your hand through your (h/c) locks. Shaking your head, you tried not to think of the situation and walked the rest of the distance to class. When you got there, you notice an old friend-he stood at the back of the class-from your old C.C.P. class before you got transferred. You put on your best smile as you walked up to him.

"Hey, Wash! What's up?" You greeted.

"Oh, hey (Y/n)! How are you?" He smiled happily at you.

"I uh, I've had better days," you chuckled to lift off the seriousness in that statement, "Hows' life for you?"

He let out a small laugh, "It's been great! It really has. Caboose misses you, he said that he misses your "niceness", and it's not the same without you."

"Oh," your smile falters a bit, "I...really haven't thought about them for a while. I'll have to go visit sometime."

"That'll be a challenge," He shrugs, the final bell rang, "I gotta go to lunch, I'll see you tomorrow, (Y/n)!"

You waved at him before going to the opposite side of the classroom to your seat. Mr. Capello should be here soon.

\----

C.C.P. was an okay class, most defiantly not your favorite, but it was enjoyable. The bell rang at 1:05P.M. to signalize that it was time for 2nd lunch. As you were packing, you started thinking about what Mr. Capello said to you during class. He asked everyone what they would like to improve for themselves. Almost everyone, you included, said they would like to gain more self confidence.

You picked up your dark red backpack and swung it onto your back. After saying goodbye to Mr. Capello, you left your class and head down stairs for lunch. You asked Mr. Capello if he thought it was sad that "almost everyone needs self confidence?", yourself included. He said that he thought it was a good thing because the first step on helping yourself get better, is to know what's wrong. He then proceeded to fist bump you, saying that "you're passing this class everyday!".

You shook your head, _I don't think he_ meant _anything by that_. There was always an empty table outside that no one sat at, so naturally, you and your other friends took that table. You didn't expect to see (B/f) there, mostly because they always spent their time with their [boy/girl]friend. You took off you backpack and sat under the shade the umbrella provided for you and put your bag under your seat. Crossing your (s/c) arms, you laid them on the table and rested your head on them.

You saw Leonard-you called him by his last name, Church-walking to the table, greeting you with a smile, so you did the same. Leonard has black hair and green eyes and black framed glasses. Then came another friend Lavernius, but everyone called him by his last name, Tucker, his dark skin showed off his dark brown dreads that touched his chest and light green eyes. They greeted you, as you thought you only had average (h/l) (h/c) hair and boring (e/c) eyes that blended with your (s/c) skin.

"Hey, (Y/n)~" they both greeted.

"Hello, ladies," you replied in the same teasing voice.

Tucker and Church talked for a bit before going inside the cafeteria to get food. They were lucky they didn't have to pay for food. You did, and you were too poor to spend $3 a day. Not that you cared much, you thought you didn't need the extra weight. You sat alone for a good 2 minutes until one of your closest friend, Mark, came to the table.

Mark liked to climb in his free time, making him muscular. He dyed his hair pink in the beginning of the school year, later blue, lastly, he dyed it a bright red. About two weeks ago, he dyed it black, his natural hair color. He had dark brown eyes, and he'd sometimes wear his glasses.

"Hey (N/n)," he greeted while sitting.

"Hey, Mark," you smile.

"Uh, (N/n)," he started, "we won't be able to hang out today, my brother wants to take me to Wal-Mart to buy some clothes."

You frowned, "But you promised we would 1Bill and Chill."

"I know, I'm sorry (N/n). I promise you next week," he smile apologetically.

 _That's what you said last week, and the week before that. The last time we hung out was two months ago!_  Is what you wanted to say, but the words died in your throat.

You shook your head and smiled, "It's okay, really. Like you said next week."

____________________________________________________

1It's like Netflix and Chill, but Bill Nye the Science Guy...and not like  _that_ , you're literally just watching Bill Nye. So Bill and Chill.

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	6. Chapter 6

2nd p.o.v.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" asked Church as he sat down with his chicken burger and tater tots.

You looked away from the food, "Oh, Mark said that we can't Bill and Chill today," You look at Church with hopeful (e/c) eyes, "He promised us next week though!"

Church winces but keeps his smile, "Yeah, next week."

Tucker sits next to Leonard with half his pepperoni pizza gone, "Fucking Grif...Hey Mark."

"Hi Tuck," he greeted before getting up from his seat across from you.

You frowned a little when he started to walk away from the table. You've gotten used to this by now, he's always doing this. Maybe he'll come back today. You laugh to yourself. _I make him sound so horrible...._ You pull out your Samsung from your jeans back pocket and checked the time.

It was only 1:10P.M. right now. Lunch doesn't end until 1:40. Church and Tucker were talking to each other, you didn't bother to listen to what. You look to your left and see (B/f) walking hand and hand with her girlfriend, Alex. They looked happy together.

You waved your hand in an obvious motion to them, "Hey! (B/f)!" specifically to (B/f), but she only looked at you for not even a second before they just walked _right past you!_ You hung your mouth open in disbelief, shock, anger, and disappointment. You snapped your head in their direction, furrowing your eyebrows together in anger, your face wearing a mean looking snarl. You stood abruptly, your hands slamming to the table with force causing Tucker and Church to look at you.

"Whoa, (N/n). Calm down, man. Are you alright?" Church asked you.

You snap your head towards your light skinned friend, "No, I'm not okay! Did you see that?!?! T-T-They just walked past by me as if I...." you lowered your gaze down to the table and slowly sank back down to your seat, "As if I wasn't even here...as if I didn't even matter.."

Church looked at you with pitiful and light irritated eyes, "(N/n)...(B/f) probably just wants some time with Alex, this is the only time they see each other."

You shook your head angrily at that, "Yeah, okay, I understand that, but that doesn't give them the right to just...ignore me like that!"

Tucker only looked down at his hands, not wanting to get involved.

Church looked down, "Well...just don't dwell on it," he replied a bit harshly.

You shook you head for the 4th time that day. You shouldn't dwell on it, after all, would you do the same if you found yourself a boyfriend or a girlfriend? No, but, you can't expect everyone to react the same way as you. You look to your right where (B/f) and Alex went, they were talking to Alex's friends. (B/f) looked your way, her smile faltering slightly before she tore her gaze away and continued to talk to whoever she was with.

 _This is stupid_ , you thought solemnly to yourself, _I'm just over reacting, (B/f) still likes me. I'm just being dramatic. If I only got to see my boyfriend or girlfriend for only 40 minutes a day, I'd probably use it to be with just them_. You cross your arms, laid them on the table and rested your head on your arms. _I understand why she did what she did...I just wish she hadn't._

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	7. Chapter 7

2nd p.o.v.

(Y/n) was in line at the cafeteria waiting to get vanilla icecream. You search your red backpack and found $3 dollars. The icecream was $2.50, and (Y/n) decided to treat them-self. Once it was your turn, the bell rang for the last class. Quickly, you got your icecream and started to walk back to your class upstairs.

English Honors wasn't hard, but you had a c+ in that class. All the work is done over the internet and that's something you don't have. But Ms. Speight wouldn't take that as an excuse. You stay after school everyday, but it's never enough time because you have other work to do as well. Being a freshman sucks.

Right when the last bell rang, you finally made it into class. You look down at you cup of vanilla icecream to see it's about 10% melted. You pout before you go to your seat and sit down. You look to your right and see your friend/partner Richard 'Dick' Simmons, you just call him Simmons. You smile at him before getting your school laptop from your backpack.

Simmons looked at your icecream and raised an eyebrow, "Icecream again, (Y/n)?"

Your smiled dropped a bit, "O-oh, yeah..."

Simmons sighs, "I didn't mean it l-like that, (Y/n). I'm just saying like...it's kind of your thing. Like me with soda."

You look down back your icecream. _I don't need this...I don't need this extra weight. I'm already fat enough. Simmons is just trying to tell me to cut off the icecream._ You get up and throw away your uneaten icecream away. You lost your appetite.

"(Y/n), I-I didn't mean to make you feel bad," Simmons said sadly.

You open your laptop so you could start your bell-work.

"It's fine, I wasn't even hungry," You smile.

You look around the class and noticed that Kaikaina wasn't here today. You sigh in relief. You don't know if she likes you or if you're just full of yourself, but...she likes you, a _lot_. She's very pretty, and nice too, but you don't like her that way. She's very... _girly_ and isn't into anything you like. You guys don't have that much in common, and besides...you're demi-sexual.

"Nice to know that K-Kaikaina isn't here, huh?" Simmons asked with a teasing smirk, typing away his answers.

"Shut up, Simmons. You're just jealous you don't have any one to love you," you replied with that purposely.

Simmons blushed a little, as he closed his laptop to get out paper and pencil, "I-I have someone..."

You smirked as you copied his actions, "Right, what was you boyfriends name?"

He was silent for a while, causing you to think that you may have gone too far. But Simmons smile when he answers reassures you that it was okay.

"His name is Grif," Simmons sounds happy when he responds.

You smile at your friend. You and Simmons have lunch and this last class together. You don't seem him during lunch that much since he's with his boyfriend, but sometimes they would hang out with you and your group. You sigh as your teacher Ms. Speight starts to discus your bell-work with the class.

\----

You and Mark have this class together as well, but he never talks to you, he had other friends to talk to. Not that you cared much, you had Simmons to talk to. Sort of, you guys were awkward friends. But he didn't seem to mind being your friend. You make him laugh so that means something, right?

It was 3:06P.M., school let's out in 4 minutes. You were supposed to go to Mark's after school so you guys could work on this video project. It wasn't for school, you guys were just interested in video making. You guys even made a serise called "Who Killed Markiplier?" But since Mark had things to do, you'll have to hold off the production.

You won't have a reason to stay after school, it's Friday and you don't have any homework. You know your friends aren't going to want to stay after school with you to hang out. But, you didn't want to go home right away, it's lonely there. You frown as you start to put your stuff away in your bag.

You stand up and sat on the table, waiting for the bell to ring. You look over to Simmons and see him talking to a guy named "Donut". He was okay, he sat next to Mark. Mark was also talking to Donut. You sat alone, talking to no one.

You were staring at your left hand. The tingling feeling came back and it was bothering you. You swear you can see blood on there. You're not delusional, you're not crazy. But the feeling is too real.

The school bell rang, it was time to go home. You got up from the table and started to venture to the door. You felt a hand on your right lower arm. You turn your head to see it was Mark. You pull your arm free and walk out the door.

Once you got out, you look at the door and waited for Mark. He got out the room and walked to you.

"What's up?" You raised an eyebrow.

Mark wore a sincere apologetic look: "I really am sorry, (Y/n). I'm just b-"

"-I know, you get busy, Mark. It's fine," you lied to him.

He smiles, "I'll see you Monday, (N/n)."

You smile back, "Bye, Mark."

Once he turns to leave, your smile left your face as you walked to the stairs and started to walk down them.

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Keys:**

(M/n)= Mother's name

(D/n)= Dad's/Father's name

(S/n)= Sibling's (bro/sis) name

_If you don't have any one of these categories, than make up a name_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

2nd p.o.v.

Your friends Church and Alex didn't ask if you wanted to go along with them when they decided to go to Circle K. They were talking about it in front of you, then just left you in the dust. You roll your eyes as you started to walk home. You remember what Alex said to you when she saw you, that she "had something she needed to tell you on Monday."

 _Why not today? Why Monday?_  (Y/n) decided not to over think it, it was _their_ time relax time. After all, it was Friday.

\----

(Y/n) unlocked the door to their rundown, two-bedroom apartment. It wasn't the best, but it was certainly better than others. You lived with you mother and your older sibling, (S/n). Your parents were divorced when you were about 4-5 years old. You dad lived close by, so you visited him often.

Your mom slept in the living room, you have the smallest room and you sibling has the biggest. (S/n) was moving out soon with their [boy/girl]friend soon, so your mom was already moving her stuff in there. Your mom was also getting married next year to her old roomates' brother. That left you....you were the sad single in the family. You laughed to yourself as you locked the front door and walked to your room. You remember your mother was making fun of you for being single.

 _"How is it that you like guys and girls and you're_ still _single?!?!" Your mother teased._

You shook your head at that memory before setting your stuff down on your bed. You had no homework and you don't recall having any chores to do. You look at the time on your phone, it was 3:11P.M. No one got home until 7P.M. at the earliest. You put your phone to charge (it was at 92% but just in case...) and started to work on a plan.

You grabbed a black backpack you had under your bed and dust it off. You stripped your clothes and quickly took a 15 minute shower. After you finished, you put on dark grey jeans, black shoes, light grey muscle shirt, a black beanie, and a black hoodie. Going to the kitchen, you took a few cold water bottles and about 5 granola bars. Taking them to your room, you put them in your black backpack. You unplugged your phone, 100%; you put your phone in your backpack.

You slipped on your bag and sat on your knees on the bed to open the window above that lead to the back of the apartments. You haven't done this in a while, so this was kind of giving you an adrenaline. You slid the window to the right to open it. The window was 2 1/2 feet wide and 4 feet long. It was about 5 feet off the ground. You leaned over and gently set your backpack on the ground outside.

Once that was out of the way, you places your left foot on the frame and your hands on both sides of the window, clutching its sides. You lifted yourself up-in a crouching position-and quickly placed to other foot in front of you _out_ of the window. Falling forward, you leaned on your right shoulder, your hands in a triangle in front of you as you ducked your head down towards the left. Your right shoulder and hands made contact with ground; in your position, you rolled on your back.

After the roll, you were in a squatting-like crouching position. Your hands on the ground in a triangle in front of your right knee that was on the ground. Your left was propped up will the foot was fully rested on the ground, your back was hunched over, and your head resting low. You lifted your head as your face wore a grin. You haven't jump off a building and/or out of a window in a long ass time, at least not the way you just did it.

You pushed yourself to stand and grab your backpack that was against the building. You took your phone out and put it in your jeans back pocket.Time to go to the hill.

* * *

_Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	9. Chapter 9

2nd p.o.v.

The hills weren't far from where you lived, probably a minute or 2 at least, if you were to drive that is. Walking, you would take up at least 10 minutes to get there on foot. You didn't care, to you, it was _so_ worth it. You want to visit everyday, but you didn't always have the privilege, so you settled for a few days every month. Today was one of those days.

Of course, on the way, you get thirsty, hence the water bottles; plus, you were going to stay there for an hour or two. The granola bars weren't for you though, there were a litter of puppies that hung out that area. They're probably hungry right now. You smile at the thought of the blue eyed huskies. The oldest has dark blue eyes, the second has light blue eyes, and the youngest has heterochromia eyes, one light blue and one dark green.

 ** _Maybe you'll see him again._**  You thought...?

"Who knows, do you think he'll talk to me again too? You asked yourself out loud.

 ** _Most likely, he probably misses you. After all, it's been 2 weeks since you last saw him._**  You responded to yourself.

You frown as you take a sip from your water, "I don't think he misses me. I'm not much company."

You didn't hear much after that. It was actually the reason why you stopped visiting, well, why your mom told you to stop. You started to hear voices in your head when you visited and when you left the hill. You didn't know why, it never happened before. You talked to a school counselor in 6th grade and she told you in was schizophrenia. Now, a 6th grader shouldn't be schizophrenic.

They eventually told your mother, leading her to forbid you from going more than 5 times a month. And soon, they voices did leave...you guess they're choosing to come back now. _What made them come anyway? Was it the loneliness? Was it the stress? Was it your dead brother?_

You stopped in your tracks when you realized you were at the top of the hill. Like in every movie and/or book, there was a single tree on top of the green, grassy, flat surface on the hill. It was a Sakura Tree, here in Arizona. You smile as you remembered the news that day 4 years ago. A group from the high school you went to planted that tree that they all bought from Japan from a trip. You think it was Anime Club that did it, but you can't clearly remember.

Your brother was in that club. He didn't go to the trip, he didn't have the money but he certainly helped plant the tree. The tree was about 12 feet tall when they brought it the the U.S., after 4 years, it's 18 feet now. Your brother always teased you, after that year when you started 6th grade. Saying if he were to die, he wanted to be buried under the Sakura Tree. You smiled sadly when you ran your fingers on the carved words that was on the gray stone nailed to the trunk of the tree.

**_Eric Town (L/n)_ **

**_March 5th, 2000~February 24th, 2015_ **

**"Well This Sucks"- _Eric (L/n)_**

You smile more as tears slipped out as you read the quote he requested to be engraved before he died. He was always a joker. You frowned. _I just thought he was joking with that too..._

* * *

_Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	10. Chapter 10

2nd p.o.v.

Man, how clique was it that you have a dead sibling in your life that made you fall into a depression? The answer: very clique. You never talked about him to your friends, you didn't need their pity. Sure, some of your friends could relate with a dead mom and/or dad, but they like to compete with each other. Always trying to see who had the most fucked up childhood.

You didn't dare try to add your story, you can't be bother with that. How would they react to that? You sat in front of the tree and started to loudly whistle a soft tune. If you're loud enough, the puppies will hear you. As you're whistling, you took off your bag and took out the chewy granola bars from your backpack.

You held the bars in your hoodie pocket as you continued to whistle. After about 2 minutes, only one of the puppies showed up, it was the youngest one with heterochromia eyes, you named him Max. You freed the bar and broke off a piece and started to feed him. None of the other puppies showed which was weird, at least one of them would always be with their younger brother. Truth be told, you were a bit worried.

After feeding Max one and a third of the granola bar, you stood up and start walking to where the puppy came from. The small doggo was sadly walking behind you, which made you worry even more. _Doggo's shouldn't look that sad! Where was Max's brother and sister?_ You halted in your tracks when you were at the end hill.

Beside the hill was a busy road, well not so busy now that is was noon. On the other side of the street was road kill. Two animals. They looked as if half their bodies were fused together. You started to tear up when Max strode towards them, nudging their faces with his own.

The husky's older brother and sister had been dead for a while. You made sure there weren't any cars nearby before quickly crossing the street. Crouching down, you stared at Max sadly as he laid with them. His oldest brother you named Sam and his sister you called Elica. You only knew them for about a month or so, but it doesn't make their death less painful. They were still dogs and they belonged to a family _...they belonged to Max._

You took off your black hoodie and gently nudged Max to move. He got up and moved to lay close beside you. With your hoodie, you gently scooped up the two dogs. They were big, but since a bit more than half their bodies were missing, they fit perfectly in your hoodie. You got up and made your way back to the tree, Max strutting along.

Placing them down gently, you searched your bag for money you saved. You end up finding $13, lucky you. You saw that there was convenient warehouse nearby, with the money you had, you were going to buy a shovel. Max followed as you walked across the street to the store. The sign said "pets of all kind are welcome", so you didn't try to stop Max from entering with you.

"Good day," a tough looking man stood at the cash register.

You put on a stern yet welcoming face as you nodded in his direction as a form of greeting. You ventured through the aisle until you found the one with shovels. The cheapest one was $11.99, _that'll have to do_. Grabbing the shovel, you make sure Max was still with you before you walk to the register. You hand the shovel towards the man.He takes it from you and scans it.

"Leave it out...please," you requested while giving a small sheepish smile.

He hands it over to you and starts to press buttons on the computer in a cashier-sh way, that's how you think of it anyway.

"$12.11 please," his rough voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

You shake your head, (h/c) bouncing everywhere. You pull out your cash from your jeans back pocket.

"Where's your sweater kid? You're gonna freeze if you stay out like that," the man questions as you hand him the $13 you had.

Looking down, you forgot that you only wore a black muscle shirt, it wasn't even that thick either. The man takes the money from your hand.

"Oh, funny story..." you rub your left arm with your slightly cold (s/c) hand looking down at Max who sits patiently next to you.

"I uh..." how were you supposed to explain to this man?

"Whatever, kid. Just don't stay out too late, 'ight?" He raises his eyebrow as he hands over the left over change while throwing away the receipt.

Taking the shovel, you start to walk out, "Don't worry. Have a good day sir."

"You too, kid," he waved.

You look down to make sure Max was with you when you left, and he was. You took your phone out your pocket to check the time. It was currently 4:23P.M., huh. Felt longer...that's what she said... You reluctantly finished your unintended pun in your head as you put your phone away.

Checking on Max one more time, you sigh and started to walk back to the tree.

* * *

 

_Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	11. Chapter 11

2nd p.o.v.

You patted the ground next to the tree with the shovel, trying to make the dug up earth semi-flat again. After (Y/n) made it back up the hill, they dug about 5 feet into the earth. They gently placed the wrapped up dogs at the bottom. Both (Y/n) and Max stared at the covered corpse for a respectful minute before you started to shove the dirt back with the shovel. You two were sitting against the tree-Max laying his head on your leg while you were sitting crisscross-staring at the newly formed lump of dirt.

Over time, it would flatten out, but in the mean time, (Y/n) would need to find something for the placement for the grave. You already had an idea,  but making the idea to a reality will be the hard part.

**_You don't know. It could be the simplest thing to do. Who knows, maybe you can do it on a first try, we'll one shot this bitch._ **

Deciding to identify that voice as your conscious, you ignored it. There was  _no_  way it could be that easy, there was at least _one_ sacrifice to the Gods before you could make a wooden cross. _Which is ironic_ , you think, _life already took two good ones_. You shake your head before you slowly stood up, giving Max enough time to get his head off your lap. The heterochromia eyed dog looked at you curiously while you picked up your backpack. You looked at him sadly before you beckoned him to follow you.

This wasn't like some fanfiction where (Y/n) was allowed to bring a dog home. Where they would take care of him and love him. Though you wanted to, but you knew it wasn't that easy. (Y/n)'s mother would scold them if they brought home an animal. All you can do is take him to a good shelter, not much else from there.

Besides, you could barley take care of yourself, you doubt that you can manage with another mouth to feed. It took a while to get there, but after 10 minutes, you and Max stood in front of the local animal shelter. He seemed to understand the situation strangely enough, considering he's just a young doggo. You opened the door and held it open for Max, you walk in after him.

There was a young teen, probably 16, at the counter, he looked bored as fuck. He turned his attention towards you and smiles when he sees Max.

"Found a cute dog?" He sounds like the only thing that makes happy are dogs.

"His siblings are dead," you decided to be blunt about it.

His left eye is a bit weird, a scar running down it, his other eye is a nice brown though.

His smiles drop and he replaces it with a sad one as he made his way around the counter to crouch in front of Max: "Wow...that's tough. You know where they are?"

"Dead," you responded cruelly suddenly, despite your soft nature.

His smile turns to a small snarl as he continues to pet Max, "No shit, sweetheart. Where're the bodies?"

You blush lightly at the nickname, "Buried them. I wasn't gonna just leave them."

The teenager nods his head as he stands up. Giving you a one-over, face turning pink, he quickly makes his way to his side of the counter.

He pulls out a form, "Got a name?"

You lean you elbows on the counter, causing the teen to move back (mind you he turned a brighter shade of pink) due to the close proximity: "Me or the dog?"

"Yes," he responds.

You raise an eyebrow at his not-really-an-answer-to-the-question before you point to yourself, "(Y/n)," you then point to the pupper, "Max."

He writes both your names down in the proper places on the form.

"And yours?" You asked curiously.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he teases.

"No, not really," you shrug your shoulders.

After a minute of silence and the teen writing on the paper, he finally speaks.

"It's York," he says quietly.

_Like the state?_ You think to yourself.

You smile, "Can I come visit you and Max whenever, York?"

He smiles as his cheeks get painted pink once again, "Whenever you'd like."

You smirk. You'll definitely see this guy often.

* * *

_Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	12. Chapter 12

2nd p.o.v.

It was 4:53P.M. and (Y/n) needed to use the bathroom, so they decided now was a good time to go home. It's not like they wanted to, home was boring, you didn't have internet and your phone was slow as hell. The only thing you could do was look up reader insert stories but you felt like there aren't any good ones anymore. And going to a friends house doesn't sound appealing to you right now either. You chuckle to yourself as you walk down the sidewalk back home.

 _What if my life right now was a story? Like a reader insert story? God, this would be a really bad, cliche fanfiction if my life was a story on the internet._ You think to yourself solemnly. No, your life was too boring to be a story.

Your parents are divorced, but they're still good friends with each other so there was no drama between them. Your sister was relatively nice to you, well, as nice as a sister can get. Your mother and father weren't cruel or abusive, they treated you good. Your friends...well, it was high school. You understood that they'll be drifting apart; it hurts that it's already happening, but there's not much you can do about it. And your brother?

You stop at the cross road, cars rushing through the road to meet their destination. You waited for the light to turn green on your part, you weren't ready to get pummeled by fast cars. There weren't many pedestrians out and about, during this time people were at home eating lunch. You ran your hand through your (h/l), (h/c) hair, sighing once the light finally turned green; you continued your journey home.

You weren't _close_ with your brother, but he was one of your good friends. You two used to bump roads many times, him being a highschool-er when you were still in middle school. He was protective of you, you were his baby sister, but he wasn't annoying you 24/7. Your relationship with him was.... _average_. But then one day, he just didn't want to wake up.

You stop suddenly when you're across the street from the hill and tree. _Now that he's gone, I really wish I didn't take him for granted when I did have him._

**_Sometimes you wish you can go back in time._ **

You sigh and shake your head, (h/c) locks swaying against each other. You can't be bothered to be thinking about that right now. (Y/n) continued walking back home, not wanting to stay in the chili atmosphere any longer. After all, they were only in their black muscle shirt. _I should visit Kaikaina tomorrow, I bet she misses me_. You think to yourself, _I'll regret it, she'll try to bang me,_ but _....she'll bake me some cookies if I ask her...._ God _, I'm a horrible friend._  

* * *

_Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	13. Chapter 13

2nd p.o.v.

"I know you got the best intentions, you just gotta find the right words to say," Kaikaina smiled patiently at (Y/n).

After (Y/n) knocked on her door, they realized they couldn't just ask her to bake them cookies like an ass. (Y/n) raked a (s/c) hand through their (h/), (h/c) hair. Shaking their head, (Y/n) finally responded.

"I was uh....hoping you can bake some cookies for me.....?" You started off and ended it timidly.

Kaikaina chuckled a bit before moving out of the doorway so you could enter.

"So," Kaikaina spoke while walking to her kitchen, "what happened then? I know you wouldn't just come here and demand me for cookies for no reason. I expected that from Caboose."

Closing the door behind yourself, you spoke the truth: "My dogs died today, I need something to distract me so....so I hoping I could just hang out here and..."

"Snacks make you feel better?" She blindly guessed.

(Y/n) chuckled, "I eat when I'm sad."

"And you get sad when you eat," she finishes.

You hummed while you entered her kitchen, sitting down by the counter.

"Sorry about your d-"

"They weren't really mine," You cut her off, "I just...."

"I get it, " Kaikaina says, "I kind of felt that way when my mom ran away to join the circus. So, I'll make whatever you'd like."

You gave a smile, "Thanks Kai-Wait what?"

"Kaikaina! Who are you talking to?" You hear your friends voice all too familiar.

"I'm in the kitchen, Mark!" She yells back.

(Y/n) glares at the entryway to the living-room that connects to the kitchen. When you saw the familiar half Asian and half Hawaiian, Mark. Who said..

"You were busy," you stated monotonously once he made eye contact with you.

His eyes widen, like a deer caught in the headlight when he remembered what he had said to you.

\----

_Mark wore a sincere apologetic look: "I really am sorry, (Y/n). I'm just b-"_

_"-I know, you get busy, Mark. It's fine," you lied to him._

\----

"Well, I gotta give you credit, Mark. You managed to fool me for this long," You turn to look at Kaikaina as you got up from the chair, "Thank you for having me. See you Monday, Kaikaina"

You heard Mark called out to you, but you didn't want to turn around, then he would see the tears that were welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill. You walked out of Kaikaina's house, closing the door gently. Normally, you would slam it close, but this wasn't your house to do so. You walked quickly to your house, you still needed to pee. You checked the time on your phone. It was 5:06P.M. right now, so you had time to take a shower and do your chores before your mom came home.

(Y/n) shook their head as the tears cleared up. They weren't over it, they just couldn't find it in themself to care anymore. So what, he didn't feel like hanging out with you, Mark just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

**_But he didn't have to lie about it._ **

_Whatever_ , (Y/n) thought, _it doesn't make him a bad person or friend_. Maybe a trip to the bathroom and a small nap can help clear their head. After today's events, they defiantly need it.

* * *

_Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	14. Chapter 14

** Key: **

**Birth gender-(b/g)**

**Preferred Gender-(p/g)**

3nd p.o.v.

"What if I never knew your name?" (Y/n) asked Jack.

"God, that thought..'s kind of insane, no?" Jack gave out a nervous chuckle as he sat on the carpet floor in the living room.

"What if...how you feel for me is not the same as it seems inside my brain?" (Y/n) continued despite Jack's sad and confused gaze, going to Youtube on Jack's tablet.

"What do ya mean-" Jack began but (Y/n) quickly interjected.

"-Just 1the thoughts give me the creeps," (Y/n) sang the lyrics to the song.

Seon-(Y/n) will just stick with Jack-groaned loudly, not picking up the song's lyrics in the beginning. (Y/n) snickered while putting the tablet on the short table in front of them, leaning it against a glass cup, keeping it up horizontally.

Yesterday wasn't the _best_ day for (Y/n), but today Jack called them, asking if he could run away to their house. The (h/c) hair lad knew that just meant he wanted to hang out, but his pride didn't let him ask directly. Admittedly, it was a great distraction for them. So currently, they were both in the living room of Jack's house-(Y/n) had said their house wasn't the best place to be at this moment-, sitting on the floor-both of you sitting criss-cross-in front of the small table. They were going to bench watch a web series called _Red vs Blue_ ; (Y/n) had already seen the whole thing, but Jack hadn't, so they didn't mind watching it all over.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you..." Jack trailed off.

"Spill it, dude," you insisted.

"I know (Y/n) is a (b/g)'s name, but, are you actually a (b/g)?" Jack asked all in one breath.

(Y/n) smiled, "I'm non-binary. I mean, I guess I look more like a (b/g), but I prefer just being neutral."

Jack nodded. After a few seconds, he asked another question on the subject.

" _Why_?" He dragged out.

(Y/n) cocked your head to the side, furrowing their (h/c) eyebrows together. _What the hell was_ that _supposed to mean?_

Jack caught on to what he said and frantically waved his hand in the air in front of himself, "I'm not judging or trying to be offensive, I'm just curious to why you chose to be neutral is all!"

(Y/n) hummed while looking at Jack, "I wanted to be a (p/g) since I was in elementary, but my mom wasn't very fond on me being a different gender. My dad wasn't there, so I didn't care on his opinion. My sister didn't care. But my brother was supportive. And for a while, I was a (p/g)."

(Y/n) looked down at their hands in your lap, their smile growing a bit: "But I wasn't happy with that either. I knew I didn't want to go back being a (b/g), and I wasn't content on staying a (p/g) either. So that's when my bro suggested being neutral. And since 6th grade...I've stuck with it, and that's when I started feeling like  _me_."

"Do you wear a binder or a..... _thingy_?" He asked embarrassed.

"Nope, flat chested. And for the _thingy_ , I have to wear.... _stuff_ ," they hinted, "But it's whatever."

Jack smiled. One thing was for sure, he didn't care whether if you were a guy, gal, or a non-binary pal, you were still you. And he liked that. More than he probably should. _I'll have to question my sexuality later_ , he thought.

"COME ON," (Y/n)'s loud voice brought him out of his thoughts, "Let's watch this hell show."

"How many seasons are there?" He asked while turning his tablet back on.

"Well, there's 15 seasons, but the 16th one is coming out soon," (Y/n) explained while getting comfortable.

"15 season? Dude, we won't finish it today," he chuckled nervously.

"What time is it?" (Y/n) asked him.

"5 til 9:30A.M," he said, placing the tablet down onto it's original position.

"We have time," the (h/c) hair teen shrugged, "If not, I can just stay the night, it's Saturday, anyway."

Jack smiled at (Y/n). _This is dangerous_ , he thought, _I can't start crushing on them now_.

"You ready, Freddy?" (Y/n) asked, about to press the play button.

"Play it."

\--

1Thoughts That Give Me The Creeps-HelloGoodbye

\--

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	15. Chapter 15

** Light Anorexia/Heavy Schizophrenia Trigger Warning **

2nd p.o.v.

It was 6:30 in the morning and Jack was asleep on his room's floor. You guys finished watching all of Red vs Blue PLUS the PSA's that went with the show at 1:25A.M. You woke up about 5 minutes ago, currently ~~taking a shit~~ brushing the knots out or your soft, (h/l), (h/c) hair in the bathroom. You couldn't sleep last night/morning. You kept waking up every 10-15 minutes, so you decided to just stay up now.

You didn't feel tired, which was strange considering you had hypersomnia, so you thought you were to be able to sleep soundly. You guess today wasn't that day. After you finished, you left the bathroom and traveled down stairs to Jack's kitchen. You heard his mom and dad leave the house not too long ago, meaning it was just you and him now. You haven't eaten since Friday afternoon and you were _starving_. Who starves on a Sunday, man?

_**"You're** _ **starving** _**? Of course you're hungry. You can't go 2 minutes after eating a buffet without feeling as if you haven't eaten at all."** _

You furrowed your eyebrows at the rude statement. _That was strange._ You turn your head around in search for the voice who voiced that sentence, but found no one. You shook your head. _It's probably because I haven't been sleeping good in a while._

_**"Fat."** _

_**"Ugly."** _

_**"Cow."** _

_**"Over-weight."** _

_**"Do you really need to eat?"** _

You frantically whipped your head in panic search for the male's voice. But found no one. That couldn't have been Jack, the poor brunette with green hair was still pubescent, his voice cracks to every other word for that to have been him.

**_"Be careful." A female screeched._ **

**_"If you eat too much, you'll be punished."_ **

**_"Your fat-ass doesn't need the extra weight."_ **

**_"Go back to s l e e p." A small child sang._ **

You opened the cupboard in search of a cup. Pathetically trying to ignore the loud voices that seem to be coming out of nowhere. _Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. IGNORE IT! _

**_"You want water now?"_ **

**_"Kids in Africa have to drink filthy water."_ **

**_"What makes you think you're worthy of clean, fresh water?"_ **

You pour water into a plastic, blue cup with unsteady hands. They kept getting louder. _What the hell is happening?_ With shaking hands, you take a sip of water, suddenly feeling _very_ dehydrated.

**_"Your airway is being blocked."_ **

**_"Stop drinking water."_ **

**_"You're gonna drown."_ **

**_"SPIT IT OUT! QUICKLY, BEFORE YOU DROWN!"_ **

You swallowed your water the same time you tried to exhale, choking on the cool water. Roughly placing the cup in the sink, you wrapped your hands around your throat and started to cough, gasping for air.

**_"What did we tell you?"_ **

**_"You didn't listen."_ **

**_"You can't drink the water, it's poisoned."_ **

**_"You're going to D I E."_ **

Tears brimmed at your eyes, threatening to spill over. The booming voices kept clouding your mind. You tried singing a song out loud to drown them out, but you kept forgetting the lyrics. The hurtful words the voices kept spouting were distracting you too much. You couldn't concentrate.You need to get out the kitchen.

You quickly went up the stairs, wanting to _just get away_. You ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. And it was quiet.

You were breathing rapidly, not aware how uneven your breath was until you looked into body sized mirror next to the toilet. Your hair was a bit messy, your eyes and nose red and puffy from chocking on the water, your cheeks a bright pink. You were wearing a white muscle shirt that was a bit small, and black basketball shorts.

You frown. Slowly, you moved your hands to your slightly exposed stomach. You groped the fat that hung out over your waistband. Your body's width didn't even fit in the mirror. Your face scrunched up in disgust. It shouldn't be out at all. You were a bit worried.

You stopped eating, you started exercising more than the average, loosing about one pound a day, but you can clearly see that it did nothing. Were you stuck? Were you stuck with your weight? You looked down at your feet, seeing a weight scale in front of you. You stepped onto the light blue square, the numbers flashing a dreaded number before your eyes.

_167lbs?!?! I don't understand! I was 165lbs last Wednesday! I SHOULD be at least 160lbs by now! How could I gain so much already?!?!_

Tears slowly leaked over, streaking down your cheeks. _I'm so fat-_

"Yo, (Y/n)," Jack knocked, "Hurry up, man."

Startled out of your thoughts, you quickly wiped away your tears. You fanned your eyes as you flushed the toilet, pretending you just finished your buisness. After a second, you turned the cold water on and you rinsed your face off to hide the tears. You turned the faucet off, grabbing the towel from the rack and began drying your face. You put the hand towel back in it's original spot.

You swung the door open to greet a sleepy Jack with a fake smile: "Mornin', Loser."

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	16. Chapter 16

2nd p.o.v.

You were sitting at Jack's kitchen table, waiting for him to finish eating. After he used the bathroom, you both fell right back to sleep for another 6 hours. You offered to make him something to eat, which of course he accepted. He asked if you were going to eat, but you claimed not being hungry.

"So I was thinking," Jack spoke with a mouth full of  ~~dick~~  pancake, "That we should go to the mall and just hang out, probably by me a drum set too."

You let out a laugh, "Uh, yeah okay. Let's do that when you get a car and money."

Jack pouted, "Shit, you have a point."

"Besides," you shifted your eyes to the table, "I'm meeting up with someone today."

"What, your Tinder date?" Jack joked.

"Actually, yeah," You played along.

Jack's sky blue eyes widen, not picking up the playful tone, "Y-You are? But who would go-?!"

You narrowed your eyes at the rude Irish, "-Hey, fuck you man. I'm a delight."

Jack snickered, "No, you didn't let me finish! I just meant who would go out on a date with someone on a _Sunday_?"

You shook your head, "I don't have Tinder, dude. I met this guy who works at a shelter, so I'm gonna go visit him, it's not a date."

Jack hummed, "Then you wouldn't mind if I came along?"

You shook your head while standing, "I don't care, man."

You took Jack's plate and put it into the sink. When you did, you saw the blue cup you used from this morning.

**_"It's dangerous here."_ **

**_"You're crazy."_ **

**_"Seon's going to Kill You."_ **

You turn around quickly to find Jack behind you his hand reached forward with his fork towards your neck! You yelled out before placing your hands on the sink while hoisting yourself up. You quickly lifted up your feet while pushing them onto Jack's chest. He let out a painful shout before his back made contact with the cold, wooden tile floor. The fork dropped out of his hand, skidding out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

**_"There's a kitchen knife in the sink."_ **

**_"Get it."_ **

**_"It's dirty."_ **

**_"Hurry."_ **

You reached your hand into the sink, trying to find the object. Your breathing and heart beat going 50 miles an hour.

**_"Kill Seon."_ **

**_"Finish him off."_ **

**_"Kill him before he kills you."_ **

"(Y/n)! What the fuck, man?!" Jack shouted.

That seemed to bring you into your senses. Jack used his right elbow to prop himself up, his forearm resting on the floor. While his left hand was rubbing at his chest where you kicked him, he was looking at you with concern and anger...mostly anger.

You on the other hand, you were rapidly breathing, tear gathering up in your eyes. Your hand was in the sink, tightly clenched around the kitchen knife.

"Y-Y-Yo-You were going to k-k-kill me..." You quietly accused, "Y-You were g-g-going to stab me-me-me-me with th-"

"I was going to put it into the sink..." Jack quietly said.

He got up slowly to not alarm you. It wasn't necessary though, you believed him. He made his way over to you, making sure to keep a safe distance in case you wanted space. Letting the knife go, you took your hand out the sink and left it at your side.

"It's okay, (Y/n)," Jack placed his pale hand onto your head, ruffling your (h/c) locks, "You're okay."

He slowly engulfed you into a hug, not too tight in case you wanted out.

A few tears escaped your eyes as you hugged back, burrying your face into his chest: "I'm sorry."

Braxton's blue orbs held patience, "You're okay. Everything is okay."

You closed your eyes, not believing you were about to kill your best friend.

_This is bullshit._

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	17. Chapter 17

3rd p.o.v.

"So what's his name anyway? This guy you're seeing?" Jack question while both of he and (Y/n) walked to the animal shelter.

Jack was kind enough to "forget" about the whole fiasco this morning. He wasn't going to let it slide, but that look on (Y/n)'s face was so heart-breaking at the moment, ( ~~not that he'd ever admit that out loud~~ ) he decided to wait. Maybe during the week if he catches (Y/n) in a calm mood. Jack's really worried about them. Whatever (Y/n) is experiencing, Jack doesn't want them to go through it alone; they're best friends, after all.

"Oh, his name? It's York!" (Y/n) got excited once they remembered a special friend there as well, "Oh! And my baby! He's there too!"

Jack was almost choked on his own spit, _almost_.

He managed to play it off with a clear of his: "Your baby? Wh-Who's that?"

Lucky for Jack, (Y/n) didn't catch his stutter: "He's my dog."

That brought (Y/n) to remember why Max is in the shelter to begin with. Both of Max's brothers died, and (Y/n) couldn't take care of them. Jack wanted to ask why their dog was in the shelter, but decided to not pry into their life. They must have had a reason to do so.

"Is he a Good BoyTM?" Jack asked.

"How did you say TM out loud?" (Y/n) pondered out loud, avoiding the question.

"Just answer the obvious question," Jack responded.

(Y/n) rolled their eyes, a sincere smile adorn their face, "He's such a good dog."

Jack hummed, not bothering to reply. They walked for another 5 minutes in comfortable silence. The sun was out but the heat wasn't irritating. The gentle breeze in late January made is all the better for taking a stroll on an beautiful Sunday afternoon.

(Y/n) looked up at the sign to the animal shelter that read "Paw Patrol Shelter". An obvious indication this shelter only had cats and dogs (and whoever came up with the name was an obvious genius), not that (Y/n) was complaining. The building was 2 stories high, a medium brown shade on the first floor, the second being 2 shades darker. There were 2 window on each wall on both floors, white curtain were open behind each window.

"Paw Patrol, huh?" Jack spoke, "Chase is my favorite."

(Y/n) quirked a (h/c) eyebrow, "Really? I've always liked Rocky."

Jack rolled his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest, "Dude, I can list off _SOOO_ many reasons why Chase is better than Rocky."

(Y/n) imitated the blue eyed male, "Okay, go ahead."

Jack gave a nervous chuckle, "You uh, you sure, man? I-I mean, I can go on forever."

(Y/n) smirked, "I have time, wise guy."

Jack's cheeks flushed a pale pink, the sidewalk suddenly took his interest, "Well, I don't wanna bore you, so I'll just say.....he's a _police_...?"

(Y/n) shook their head as a laugh ripped through their throat, "Yeah, okay. But Rocky is the reason our planet still rotates."

Jack cocked his head to the side, (Y/n) noticed he wasn't wearing his black framed glasses, "Wait, the brown pup in orange, right? The water one?"

You gasped in horror, your (s/c) hand against your chest, "That's Zuma! Rocky is the recycle doggo! You uncultured swine!"

Jack groaned. He throws his hands at his sides while looking up into the clouds.

"What _ever_ , dude! We can argue later! Right now, I wanna pet Max!" He whines.

(Y/n) rolls their eyes, "Quit your bitchin. Let's go."

The (h/c) haired teen walked towards the door, placing their hand on the handle.

(Y/n) grinned at the green haired teen, "You ready to meet the best boy in th-"

"H-Hey, (Y/n)?" A shy male voice spoke.

(Y/n) looked to where it come from, which was behind Jack. When they both made eye contact, (Y/n) immediately recognized him.

(Y/n)'s smile faltered, "M-Mark."

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	18. Chapter 18

3rd p.o.v.

It's not that Mark is the last person (Y/n) wants to see, it's just that....actually yeah. Mark is the last person (Y/n) wants to see right now. (Y/n) is already over the whole ordeal, but they're still just a tad bit salty. And besides, they're supposed to be spending today with Jack, not worry about the Hawaiian in front of them.

"What are you doing here, Mark?" Jack asked, sensing the awkward air.

"Oh, I just on my way to the Market. And you guys?" He asked.

"We're here to pet the animals at the shelter," (Y/n) answered casually.

Mark nodded, "Well, I let you guys to it then," he began to walk away, "I'm texting you later, (Y/n)."

(Y/n) furrows their eyebrows together and frowns at Mark's declaration. Jack waits until he's out of earshot before speaking to the (brunette/blonde/redhead).

"Do you...wanna tell me what that was about?" The blue eyed male questioned.

(Y/n) shook their head, "It's not right to talk about someone when they're not here to defend themselves."

Jack smiled, "Come on! Just spill the beans!"

(Y/n) grinned, "Oh, shush now. Before a house drops on ya."

The (e/c) eyed teen pulled open the door to the animal shelter before Jack can say another word. At least they tried to pull the door. (Y/n) furrowed their eyebrows together when they realized-

"It is indeed closed, my friend," Jack confirmed (Y/n)'s thought.

"Holy Mother of Vagina's. Alright then, let's go home." (Y/n) rolled their dull (e/c) eyes as the turned to walk back to Jack's house.

"Wait, that's it?" Jack asked ludicrously, "We're just gonna go back?

(Y/n) stopped and turned to face him, "Well, yeah. We can't just break in."

Jack smiled mischievously, "Well-"

"-No."

"Oh come on!" Jack groaned, walking towards (Y/n), "It's fucking hotter than Satan's balls out here, I don't _WANNA_ walk all the way back home!"

The duo began to walk back anyway.

"Dude, just chill," (Y/n) smiled, stuffing their hands in their jeans pocket, "I'll heat us up some popcorn so we can watch Dr. Strange once we get back. Sounds good?"

Jack grinned, "Deal. After that, let's watch My Hero Academia!"

(Y/n) chuckled, "Weeb."

"Oh shut up! You love it more than I do!" Jack playfully punched (Y/n)'s shoulder.

Well, you couldn't deny that even if you wanted to.

* * *

_"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky._

_"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."_


	19. Chapter 19

2rd p.o.v

"If I eat my own jizz for survival..." E.T. pauses dramatically before continuing, "Is that gay?"

"Jesus, what the fuck, bro?" (Y/n) couldn't help but laugh.

You're supposed to be in school right now, not sitting with your dead brother by the Sakura tree. It's Monday and you remembered Alex said she had something to tell you, but no. After what happened with Mark yesterday, (Y/n) just needed time with someone who actually _gets_ them.

\----Yesterday----

After (Y/n) and Jack got home, they watched Dr. Strange and a full season of My Hero Academia before (Y/n)'s mother called. After saying you goodbye's, you walked back to your crap apartment. Your mother had said it was going to get dark out if they came home any later, so (Y/n) took that as a sign to start walking home. Once they finished showering and brushing their teeth, (Y/n) was getting their shit ready for school the next day. _That's_ was when Mark texted you.

××××

 **Fuck-Munch*Mark*** : Hey (Y/n) are you busy?

Yeah, I'm about to have a super secret meeting with Sonic the Hedgehog in about 5 mins: **You**

Make this quick: **You**

 **Fuck-Munch** : Your birthday is next Friday. Like this coming Friday.

And?: **You**

 **Fuck-Munch** : You hate surprises.

Okay...?: **You**

 **Fuck-Munch** : But me, Kaikaina, Alex, (B/f), Tucker, Church, and Jack have been planning a surprise party 2 months ago.

What?: **You**

 **Fuck-Munch** : You KNOW we're all really bad at keeping secrets, that's why we haven't hung out recently

But I've hung out with Jack though : **You**

 **Fuck-Munch** : You and I both know he's the only one that can actually keep a secret

So, you guys don't hate me? : **You**

 **Fuck-Munch** : Dude, I fucking love you

 **Fuck-Munch** : WE ALL FUCKING LOVE

 **Fuck-Munch** : Kaikaina might love you a different way, but it's still love.

\----Present----

(Y/n) didn't feel better about being ignored, but at least they know it's not hate keeping them all apart. At least, that's what they're forcing themselves to think. So instead of going to school, (Y/n) decided to visit their brother and that brings us all to the present. You were just talking to yourself until you started hearing someone else respond. Then after a while, (Y/n)'s diseased brother, E.T., started to show up. Right now, he was laying his head on your lap as you leaned against the tree

It was strange, Summer was just beginning to start, yet, today the stars decided to stay out for a little bit longer. The air was wonderfully cool at 7 in the morning, and the sky was still a bit dark, but it just added to the rising suns glow. It rain a bit last night and so the air had a calming sent to it. It was a beautiful morning. Until E.T. had to ask a jizzing question, no pun intended.

"No dude, this is a serious question," he smiled at you.

(Y/n) just rolled their eyes so hard, they were surprised they didn't fall out, "Probably bro. Maybe you-"

"-I miss you," E.T. interrupted.

(Y/n)'s eyes widen a bit before turning crestfallen, "Me too, bro. But this was your own actions that lead you to this.

"I want to see you again," he whispers.

You understood what he meant: "You know I can't do that."

"You can! I can help you get better!" He states, watching your expression.

"Do you...actually believe I can be fixed?" You asked, looking up at the starry sky.

"To be honest, no. I don't. But," He says as he sits up to look at you with determined eyes and smiles, "I don't mind trying to put you back together."

You smirked at your favorite person in the world. No one would mind if you left for your brother, right? You try to remember if any important events come to mind, but you think nothing important is coming up.

"Alright then," (Y/n) grinned, "This Friday, I'll come for you."

* * *

_"It's funny how the dead receive more flowers than the living. I guess regret is stronger than gratitude."_


	20. Chapter 20

2rd p.o.v.

"Hey, where were you all week dude?" (B/f) asked you as she crouched in front of your desk.

"Not here," you teased.

She doesn't need to know what your private life.

"No shit, Sherlock," at that Ms. Valarie walks in, "This isn't over."

(B/f) gets up and moves to the front to her own desk. After everyone started on their bell-work, you felt a tap on your arm. You look towards the culprit to see it was Jennifer.

You smile to her: "Hey Church."

He smiles back: "Hey, so this day is pretty important, huh?"

You grin in response, ~~but for a different reason than Church's~~ , "Yes! It is! I can't wait for school to be over!"

Now that you think about it, a note needs to be written.

"Me too, man!" Church declares before returning his attention to his work before getting caught talking.

You like to finish your bell-work for the whole week all in one day so you's have free time in the morning.  And since you missed the whole week to get your plan ready, you have to do it all today. That wasn't the only reason you skipped school. You wanted to distance yourself from your friends so they would care less once you died.

The only reason you showed up today was because you wanted to see them one last time before you left forever. But it doesn't matter anymore, right? Today is the last day of school. Well, for you anyway. It doesn't matter is you complete this or not.

Folding the paper into 4's, you tucked it away in your backpack before grabbing a spare notebook and lead pencil.

"(L/n)," Ms. Valarie calls you from the front of the class.

You set your notebook and pencil on your desk before walking to said teacher.

Once you made it to her desk, she smiles at you, "You've been missing quite amount of days, all this week, in fact. Are you alright?"

You smile back, "Yeah, of course."

**_No, I'm not._ **

"Are you sure? I've noticed you've put your work away, did you finish it already?" She interrogates.

"Yes, I've completed today's and the rest of the week, Ms. Valarie," you lied.

**_I'm going to kill myself today so there's no point of doing the work, Ms. Valarie._ **

"Well, if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me and when," she gives you a hesitant smile.

"Don't worry, nothing is wrong," you turn to walk back to your seat.

**_P L E A S E  H E L P  M E_ **

**_I  D O N ' T  W A N T  T O_ **

**_D I E_ **

You sit down at your seat once again and opened your notebook. It was time to plan out your note.

\----

"Hey, man! Today's Friday!" Jack grinned as you sat down.

"It sure is!" You feigned excitement as you just sat there.

You bother getting started on your art project that was 50% of your grade, what was the point?

"Hey," Jack pulled you out of your thoughts as he handed you a small object, "Happy Birthday."

 _What. Hap... **What**?_  It can't be your birthday today. Can it? You play it off cool, smiling as you accepted the gift. It was a silver necklace that had a small bar and heart made of the same material. The bar had the word Best on it. You turn to Jack and that was when you noticed the necklace around his own neck. His being a key and his own small bar saying Friend.

You genuinely smiled, "I...Sean, this...this is..." you then smirked, "This is pretty gay."

Jack groaned, throwing his head on the table, "You ruined the mood."

**_Good, then you can hate me more._ **

"Sorry," you say, "I'm just...thank you, Jack."

Javk nodded, "Don't mention it, come one. Lets do our work."

Maybe you'll do work. Only in this class. For Jack.

"Finnnnnaaaaaaahhhh!" You dragged out as you took your pencil from your backpack.

Jack pats your (h/c) mop on your head you call hair: "That's the spirit."

\----

 _(Y/n) (L/n), what a dumb name._ You think to yourself as you make it to your last class. During C.C.P. and lunch, you managed to finish your note without anyone being ~~assholes~~ nosy. You think it's edgy enough so you just left it as that. Now, your main goal was to find someone to give it to.

In your backpack was a blank notebook, one pencil, and a folded math paper. You reset your phone and cleaned out your room during the week so you didn't have to worry about someone finding something embarrassing of yours. All you had to do, was to leave your backpack in class, give the note to someone, and haul ass to the Sakura tree.

You got really lucky, today was a short day so classes were only 50 minutes long while normal days were 90 minutes. You reached the door to your class and your heart starting beating 100 miles an hour. This is it.

* * *

_"It's funny how the dead receive more flowers than the living. I guess regret is stronger than gratitude."_


	21. The End To Everything

2rd p.o.v.

_Sometimes it's easier for me to give up than to try to actually do anything about it. And it's not because I like the way I feel, or the way I am. And it's not because I'm lazy. I just can't find the will to care enough. I want to care, but the thought of just letting myself go seems so much more appealing. Besides, my mask is getting me by._

There's nothing more exciting that running from your slow ass friend when he has completely forgotten you used to run track.

"(Y/n)! Please! Stop running!" Jack desperately yelled out from behind.

He was running out of breath pretty fast. You could go for another mile or two before you'd get exhausted.

_Or I'm just lying to myself. It'll never last. I already know that. Why shouldn't I just give up already? I've been wearing a mask more often than not lately. Why not just give in and show everyone who I really am?_

After the school bell rang, you left your backpack under your table then quickly left the class. On your way down stairs, you saw Jack. So, you smiled at him, secretly handing him the note, then immediately ran off. You didn't hear anyone chase after you, so you assumed he read the note first.

He wouldn't have caught up with you if you didn't trip on your shoe lace once you were out the school gates. You turned back to see him throw off his backpack; he was still holding your note when he began running to you. You didn't have time to retie your shoe lace, you quickly got up and ran. If you were him, you'd probably be concerned for that person. After all, what you wrote was your suicide note.

_Do you think maybe one day when the world is no longer black and white, that even the grayest people can see color? That maybe they'll learn and realize that this world isn't so dull, and can find the beauty in almost anything?_

You could see the Sakura tree from across the road, Jack was slowing down, you were slowing down and so was time. And so was the drunk Fucker that was driving the truck.

_I want to believe that there's a lot more than meets the eye, that the true beauty is just...hiding. That the colors are just waiting for the right moment, the perfect moment. I want to believe that. But it seems as if the colors don't exist at all._

You couldn't have waited until the light turned green for you. Otherwise, Jack could've caught up. Besides, you were fast enough. You could make it.

_Maybe I'm one of the grey people. The person who doesn't truly believe in colors. Because to me, everything is grey. Like my hopes and dreams. It's....just...dull._

At least, that's what you wanted to think when you felt immense pain coming from your left side before it moved to the back of your head, then nothing.

_It's all just a monotonous color. I hate my dull world. I want to see in colors, I really do. But now, I think even the grayest people, can't ever see colors._

"NO! PLEASE NO!" Oh, that's right, Jack was chasing you.

You felt your body move up then rest on something soft, most likely his lap.

"(Y/n), can you hear me?!" The brunette cried to you.

Jack tried to stop the blood seeping out of your skull as you shoved your hands against his own in weak protest. Everything goes black. You cant open your eyes but you can hear him cry.

"Please," he shouts, "Somebody help me!"

But nobody came. There was nobody for miles. That man or woman who hit you didn't stop, they kept going. He sounds broken as he held you tighter. You wanted to open your eyes and say "Hey, I'm okay." But you couldn't.

"Please, just open your eyes," he whispers.

You wanted too open them, but your eyelids were glue shut. Now that it's happening, you didn't want to die.

Jack takes a deep breath, "It's okay, everything is going to alright."

You  both knew it was a lie. You weren't going to be okay. But Jack only kept repeating it as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Please don't leave me."

You wanted to hug him to stop him from crying, but you couldn't. All you could do was lay there on his lap lifeless, as a single tear fell from your eye before-

_Or am I just not trying hard enough? Have I even put in effort to begin with? Am I just a failure who didn't even try for success? Probably. I wouldn't expect anymore or any less from me. It's funny how the dead receive more flowers than the living. I guess regret is stronger than gratitude. But, you wouldn't care if I left. Then again, that never seems to be the case. I'm willing to risk it though._

_Sorry for always disappointing you.  
~(Y/n) (L/n)_


	22. AUTHORS NOTE

Sorry this sucked. Not only was it the first story I worked on, it was the first reader insert i did. I did rush it in the end a bit, just because I was losing motivation close to the end. But I didn't want to leave it unfinished so I just rushed the last 2 chapters.

* * *

Not-Fun Fact 1: The first and last chapter titles tie together.

Not-Fun Fact 2: This story is on Quotev, and the fandoms on that site is none.

Not-Fun Fact 3: At first, I had no idea what fandom to base it on, so I just used all my friends from school as OC characters on Quotev.

Not-Fun Fact 4: It took nearly the begining of the story til the end to come up with the crappiest suicide note ever.

Obvious Fact 5: This  sucked.

* * *

Anyway, thank you so much for reading and as always I will-

Never mind you get the idea. Thank you for reading!

* * *

**_The meaning of life....is to give life meaning._ **


End file.
